We’ve all been there. We are having a completely normal day and going through our mundane daily routine when it happens. We are struck to our core and overcome by highly complicated emotions. In this moment we can’t hold back the heavy flow of tears flooding our face like the rushing water of Niagara Falls.
No? (Yeah, me neither)
But really…why are men so bad at crying?
I want to suggest that we are bad criers simply because we hardly ever cry. We don’t cry because we try to fix broken situations instead of entering into them. We tend to try and fix or remove pain, hurt, and brokenness instead of entering into the situation and being truly affected by it.
Let me explain.
As men we like to fix things. If something is broken we fix it. If someone is hurt we want to help. If someone is crying we want to cheer him or her up. If someone comes to us with a problem we want to give him or her the answer. There is no time to stop and cry because we are too busy bringing the fix, too busy making things right, too busy saving the day.
Newsflash (for those of you reading this standing up, running, or practicing extreme pogo-ing you might want to have a seat):
People don’t always want or need you to fix them or their situations.
Boom. I said it.
More often than not, what your closest friends and the people in your community need is someone willing to just be with them in the midst of their pain or brokenness. They want someone to be a part of their situation, part of the recovery, and part of every step along the way. Sometimes the best thing you can do as a friend, and as a man, is stop trying to fix people’s problems. Rather, dive deep relationally with people and enter into their situation. And maybe, just maybe, cry with them.
It’s your turn to share some wisdom! Join the conversation:
- How can we as men and as a community begin to enter into broken situations and be affected by them rather than only trying to fix things?
- What manly (or womanly) wisdom can you share on the topic?
- Post a picture of your cry face. (Come on! We will all laugh.)